Latest Hot Stories
-
2009 Darwin Awards (Top Ten)
April 22, 2010Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious winner:1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
-
ONE MORE CHANCE TO WELCOME HOME OREGON HEROES
April 22, 2010One more welcome-home ceremony has been added for members of Oregon’s 41st brigade of the National Guard, just home from Iraq. Tomorrow (Fri) there will be a demobilization ceremony in Eugene at the Lane County Fairgrounds at 1:30 PM. After that, a convoy of at least two busses full of soldiers will travel up I-5 to Highway 34, head over the Harrison Street bridge into Corvallis, and up Kings Boulevard to the National Guard Armory. The party is open to the public. The soldiers should arrive at about 4:30 PM.
-
SARAH PALIN’S EUGENE SPEECH–FREE–TO TAXPAYERS, THAT IS
April 22, 2010Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin speaks at a Eugene GOP fundraiser tomorrow night (Fri). Her security bill will be paid by the Lane County Republicans, who expect to clear about $190,ooo from the rally. Eugene Police say overtime costs for a public appearance of this kind could cost up to $20,000–but Palin’s speech is counted as a private event, so the GOP will foot the bill for cops and private security people. If you’re quick, you might still get a $100 ticket that will get you into an overflow room to watch the speech on big screen TV.
-
MRS. LEVIN, JASON’S BEEN SENT HOME WITHOUT LUNCH FOR MISBEHAVING!
April 16, 2010The Beaverton middle school teacher, Jason Levin, who started a website urging Tea Party opponents to infiltrate the group, show up at Tea Party rallies with misspelled signs, shout racial epithets and otherwise behave badly to discredit the movement has been put on administrative leave by his school district. The district says it will investigate whether Levin used school time and property to set up his ‘crashtheteaparty’ website, as pro-Tea Party computer experts say he did. Still not getting much respect from the Oregon political establishment, the Tea Partyers were characterized by state Democratic Party Executive Director Trent Lutz as ‘a small group of disgruntled people’, and ‘an extremist, out-of-step faction of the Republican Party’.
-
DMV Offices will be closed April 16th
April 12, 2010DMV offices will be closed Friday, April 16
Friday is a mandatory statewide unpaid closure for most state offices
The Oregon DMV headquarters and all DMV field offices throughout the state will be closed Friday, April 16. The closure is the fourth of 10 statewide mandatory unpaid “furlough” days for employees scheduled through June 2011.
However, during these closures, customers still can do business with DMV by mail or online. Online services include most passenger vehicle registration renewals, change of address and notice of sale of your vehicle.
DMV offices will reopen on their regularly scheduled days and times after the furlough day.
-
Amen to This
April 12, 2010While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.
-
The Future of Laptops
April 12, 2010 -
Obama Denies Flyover
April 8, 2010Obama denied a military flyover at the annual “God and Country” rally in Idaho , where new military recruits were inducted and all military were honored. This is the first time in 42 years that there has not been a military flyover in formation, and organizers were stunned that Obama refused to allow this. When the lady organizing the event contacted the Pentagon to ask why this was not allowed, as it had occurred every year for 42 years, she was told it was because of the event’s “Christian nature.”
The video also mentions that when Obama made a recent speech, a cross and a Christian symbol for Jesus had to be covered first. This is beyond unbelievable-action by the Commander in Chief and our President, and the Americans need to know about it!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
IT’S A TEA PARTY!!
April 8, 2010A Mid-Willamette Valley group is holding a Pre-Tea Party rally on Saturday, April 10th, from 11 AM to 1 PM in the parking lot of the Original Breakfast, at 3225 Santiam Highway SE in Albany. It’s right off the freeway at exit 233. Organizers ask you to park in the back and bring a sign expressing your views. There will be a prize for the best sign!! At the rally will be speakers, candidates, and an opportunity to walk the sidewalks around the area as a warm-up for a bigger Tax Day rally in Salem on April 15th.
-
TO BELLOTTI FROM U OF O: BUY OUT OR BYE-BYE?
April 7, 2010U of O President Richard Lariviere says he asked Mike Bellotti to leave the university after Bellotti told him about an opportunity for a job at ESPN. But he stopped short of saying Bellotti was fired. Lariviere said although the university had its highest football revenue ever this past season, the Athletic Department still needed ‘an individual with experience handling the financial and business aspects of a complex program”. He said Bellotti did not have those credentials despite his coaching success, so it was agreed that Bellotti would leave. Paying Bellotti 2.3 million dollars was fair, he said, based on a verbal contract Bellotti had–something Lariviere said would never happen again. The money comes from private donors, and is not taxpayer money, he said. The Oregon Justice Department and the Board of Higher Education are both looking into the matter.
-
New Swear Word
April 6, 2010Years ago when I sometimes used unsavory language, I often used the expression “Bull S***.” As I grew up a bit and discovered it was not necessary to use such crude language, that expression became “BS.”
What did I really mean when I used those expressions? I meant that something was ridiculous, or idiotic or a half truth or just stupid. It covered any number of negative formats. The dictionary defines it as: nonsense; especially: foolish insolent talk.
I have decided that I no longer will use either of those expressions in the future. When I have a need to express such feelings, I will use the word “Pelosi.” Let me use it in a sentence. “That’s just a bunch of Pelosi..” I encourage you to do the same. It is such a nasty sounding word, it really packs a punch, we are no longer being vulgar, and it clearly expresses our feelings. If enough of us use it, perhaps the word could be entered into the dictionary. When on a ranch watch your step and don’t step in Pelosi. It will get on the bottom of your boot and won’t go away until next election.
What a fitting and descriptive legacy for the Speaker of the House!
P.S. Betcha when this new word reaches D.C., the PELOSI WILL HIT THE FAN!
-
Joke of the Day
April 5, 2010Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist !Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer’s back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow!The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the
experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
You’re gonna love this… 🙂
NASA responded with a one-line memo –
“Defrost the chicken.”
-
Joke of the Day
April 1, 2010The FISHERMAN
A fisherman was stopped by a game warden in Alabama recently with two ice
chests full of fish. He was leavin’ a cove well-known for its fishing.The game warden asked the man, ‘Do you have a license to catch those fish?’
‘Naw, sir’, replied the fisherman. ‘I ain’t got none of them there licenses..,
these here are my pet fish.’‘Pet fish?’ said the Warden.
-
PUBLIC FUNERAL PROCESSION FOR HERO
March 24, 2010The family of Erin McLyman is inviting the public to line the streets in Eugene tomorrow, Thursday, March 25th, for her funeral procession. McLyman was killed in a mortar attack on her base in Balad, Iraq, on March 13th. The procession leaves West Lawn Cemetary on South Danebo at about 12:30 tomorrow afternoon, and proceeds to West 18th, from there to Polk, ending up at the Eugene Faith Center on West 13th. She graduated from Eugene’s Sheldon High School. The governor has ordered flags flown at half-staff tomorrow to honor Spc McLyman.
-
DEFAZIO PLAYS ‘HEALTHCARE HARDBALL’ WITH A ‘STEEL BAT’
March 23, 2010Oregon doctors and hospitals are looking forward to increased Medicare reimbursements negotiated by Congressman Peter Defazio before he flipped his health care vote to ‘yes’. That’s according to Defazio. Defazio had threatened a ‘no’ vote over the issue of low Medicare reimbursements in Oregon and 16 other states. He said he had to play hardball with the Obama administration, and ‘get out the steel bats’. He says Oregon hospitals should see an immediate 1.5% reimbursement increase, and doctors will see 4% more, as part of a deal that dedicates about 400 million dollars extra to 17 low Medicare-reimbursed states over the next two years. A full fix is estimated to cost hundreds of billions of dollars.
-
DEFAZIO VOTES ‘YES’ ON OBAMACARE
March 22, 2010Oregon fourth district Congressman Peter Defazio threatened to vote ‘no’ on Obamacare over the weekend over the issue of low Medicare reimbursements to Oregon doctors. A ‘fix’ was in the earlier House bill, but was taken out of the one passed over the weekend due to its cost. Including it would have ballooned the cost of the bill past defecit-neutral territory. But Defazio said in a release today that he was assured by Obama Administration officials that higher Medicare reimbursements for Oregon and 16 other states would begin immediately while the issue is studied for two years.
@kfir720am