Joke of the day
A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:
“Bob, I’m sorry. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you’re not around, probably more than you. I know it’s no excuse but I don’t get it at home. I can’t live with the guilt any longer. I hope you’ll accept my sincerest apology. It won’t happen again.”
Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom, and without a word, shoots his wife.
Moments later the guy gets a second text: “Really should use spell check! That should be “wifi”.” Credit chewymacoroni
November 10th Republican Debate Drinking game from www.debatedrinking.com
THE CANDIDATES AND THEIR DRINK CUES
- Donald Trump — Best, China
- Ben Carson — Government, Media
- Marco Rubio — Future, Families
- Jeb Bush — Jobs, Veto
- Carly Fiorina — Hillary, Leader
- Ted Cruz — Obamacare, IRS
- John Kasich — Budget, Ohio
- Rand Paul — Fed, Tax
- Community Words — Socialism, Veterans, Reagan (any candidates say one – everybody drinks)
J&K Headlines for Friday
Welcome to your FREE FOR ALL FRIDAY November 6th, 2015
Here are some of the stories we are working on this morning…
1-Jeff & I will discuss the signs that your husband is unhappily married…
2-Michelle Obama is behind a 70-million effort to empower girls…in Pakistan
3-An Idaho militia group is protesting a plan to dump Syrian refugees in the Gem state…
4-U.S. Gun sales have skyrocketed for 6-months running…
5-Heroin use is exploding in Oregon…
6-And…Socialists are gathering in New York City to plot a political overhaul…
8am TEASE….Coming Up…
Mt. St. Helens may be ready to blow its top…
“Think before you speak” is a PC college crusade…
An Idaho man has been told to remove Christmas decorations because they offend non-Christians…
Jeff & I will share a list of Christian friendly businesses..
And…FREE FOR ALL FRIDAY brings our weekly Netflix Picks and a review of what’s new on the small screen…
Strong Passwords Protect You
It is increasingly harder to manage and keep track of the various online accounts we have for securely accessing everything from our social media accounts to our financial institutions’ websites. Since so much communication these days happens online and is ultimately protected by our online account credentials, it’s worth it to spend a few minutes reviewing how important they are and consider some ways to better keep track of them. Our website service provider at Santiam Communications offers some helpful advice to better manage passwords and why strong passwords are important.
Imagine a much simpler world where you only needed to remember one password instead of keeping up with an entire notebook of usernames, emails and passwords for various online websites. Now imagine you can do this without compromising any of your online security. Such a world is possible by utilizing password vault and password management tools. Continue Here…
Santiam Communications provides website and email services and can be contacted at 541-22-7444 or online at santiamcommunications.com
KFIR wishes Marty Anderson, our morning show Host, a wonderful retirement.
Thank you Marty Anderson for all of your years here at KFIR as our morning show host. We all wish you the best. KFIR would also like to Thank all of our listeners for making KFIR their station.
POSSIBLE POLICE IMPOSTERS
In Springfield, police say an officer left two freshly laundered uniform shirts in his car overnight with his official badge and his leather-bound police notebook. His car was broken into, and they were stolen. So now, there may be a guy out there who looks like a real cop. But a police spokesman says not to worry. If you think that a cop is not a cop, as he’s chasing you, ask him for his photo id badge……or, as he’s wrestling you to the ground, call the police to verify that he’s a real cop…..or, if it’s dark and you can’t quite see him plainly, ask to go go a well-lit place, as he’s cuffing you.
LEBANON GETS FREE SMOKE DETECTORS
Saturday, May 9th, volunteers from the American Red Cross will go door-to-door in the 97355 zip code from 10AM to 6PM to make sure homes have working smoke detectors. If not, volunteers will hand them out free and even install them. If you live in Lebanon, you can arrange an appointment in advance by calling 503-528-5783.
Joke of the day
Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say,
‘Edna,I’d like to ride in that helicopter’
Edna always replied,
‘I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks’
One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said,
‘Edna, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance’
To this, Edna replied,
“Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks’
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
‘Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny! But if you say one word it’s fifty dollars.’
Buddy and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word…
When they landed, the pilot turned to Buddy and said,
‘By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed!’
Buddy replied,
‘Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, but you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!’
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